So easy a lobotomized monkey could do it. Or can she?

I'm feeling really dumb right now. Here's my problem: I'm sitting in the Twilight Zone in my math class. We started Trig last week and I've never seen this stuff before. It sounds like the prof is speaking ancient Greek and I ain't got no dictionary around. I sit confused the entire hour. My classmates, however, all sit nodding as if this is a review of things they've heard before. I write furiously, hoping that *something* will make sense, but it doesn't.

My panic comes from the fact that I have been to the tutoring center and they're so busy that I sit with my hand in the air for an hour and no one helps me. Then, I try to schedule a private tutor and they're all booked. My heart can't take much more! I need a math wiz to explain to me in potato head language what sin, cosin and tangents *really* are and how you maniplate the equations to get the information you need!
ARGH!

I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving next week. I really need some turkey and pickled okra. Oh, and lots of wine. :)